[He nods, one hand holding the other in front of him at his waist, leaning back against the counter.]
He was quite dead when I found him. Torn and broken from one end to the other. But I couldn't let him go, and when I couldn't find your body, I feared the worst. I took what I had and I patched him up and I began my experiments in an effort to learn how to return what soul he had.
[His breath turns a little shaky, one hand hovering over his stomach where he remembers cutting his twin open for the ring, the damage he had done before allowing Sebastian to take over for him.]
So... [Couldn't find his body. But they'd burned that church to the ground.
Suddenly he feels sick.]
You've had him all along? The whole time, you knew I was lying?
[He shakes his head, just a little, enough to let the hair part for one eye.]
I had him with me all along. Truth be told, I didn't know which one of you I had until he could tell me himself. You'd been so hardened by your tragedy and your place in the world and your demon.
[He hums quietly, maybe to himself, maybe to the boy as well. Then he turns to start up a pot of tea, as he always has, for the both of them.]
It's one thing to see the records of someone you mean to push off to the next plane of existence. It's another entirely to watch every intimate detail of someone you feel you should be closer to than you are. I could have seen everything while he was still not yet whole, but your brother was one I held regard for. I would no less have been able to view his records without his consent than I can you or your father's with any sort of conscious, though I regret I couldn't have avoided some of it to help him return.
[He stirs the tea into the water as it slowly begins to heat, letting the flavor steep.] He was there, in plain sight, if you knew where to look. It helped him to come back, hearing your voice, seeing you close to him. He loves you dearly, you know. You were the only thing on his thoughts before he died. All he wanted in that moment was to know that you would be safe with a desperation and a regret beyond words. You know what that's like, don't you?
[He supposes he can understand that. Undertaker does care about them a great deal, invading the memories of one of the twins... well, part of him is glad the reaper didn't have to see all of that. He might be even more protective of them then.]
In plain... [He has to think and when it hits him, he feels a bit stupid really. And pales a little, imagining in brother-] I-in a coffin?
[His ears heat a little at the question. He's not embarrassed but to hear that.] I do know... I would have done anything to help him too.
[He tries to, in any case. But one of them relies on him for near everything and one of them relies on him for next to nothing. It's a difficult life!]
I had nothing else to hide him in and maintain his body in plain sight, such as it was, in something so comfortable. It was either that or dig a place under the flooring, and it simply wasn't convenient enough for either of us.
[He finishes the tea and pours out two cups, per his usual.] You did try. It was all that you could do.
Maintain... [It's all so much. Ciel had been there the whole time, so close. Even if Undertaker hadn't realized which was which, he'd let Astre hide his twins existence after he'd returned. He's not sure how to feel.
Thankful, in part. He hadn't ratted him out to the other nobles or the servants or his aunt.
Slowly, he sits down and stares into the tea before fixing it how he likes.] Then, in Germany, you were talking about Ciel when you visited Diedrich.
[It had been as much out of necessity for his own sake and purposes as it was for Astre's. The longer no one was any the wiser, the longer he had to bring Ciel back to true life. He could talk about all those little details later, but he's not sure Astre wants to try and stomach them right now. That hand over the boy's abdomen hadn't gone unnoticed.]
So he told you about that, did he? I guess I can't be surprised. I did ruffle his feathers a little. [Only a little. But really, the man didn't even look the same anymore. He sits with the boy and makes his own tea, waiting until he has it just right, the cup between his hands, before he speaks again.]
With everything we've been through, you deserve the truth. It was a selfish thing. Maybe you won't see it the same way, but I needed the body I had to come back. You and your brother are all I have in this world anymore, or any other, unless your father is alive still in one of them. We were fortunate enough to land in a place that could help me free you from the demon's hold, but in England you must understand I'm still struggling with how to do such a thing. We don't have the same technology there that we have here. Removing your eye and the curse thereafter won't be possible there the way it was in Riverview.
[Another sip.] There, I still fear for your soul, but I doubt I'll be able to convince you to want to keep it.
[Oh, of course the German had mentioned it. His feathers had been thoroughly ruffled indeed.
His stomach though, there's not a lot he or it can handle at the moment. The tea is probably the only thing besides their conversation that he's going to be able to deal with.]
Said you headed towards France.
[He probably could have had Sebastian handle Wolfram and Sieglinde from that point, or Tanaka and the other servants, and gone after him but he hadn't bothered. He hadn't even thought about it then.]
It... [Astre can't help but agree, really, but he can't condemn him for it either. Having his twin back, in those earlier days, he would have given anything. It's a little more awkward now that he's older, but he is still glad to have him.] You would have found a way. You're nothing if not determined.
[Finally he sips at his own tea, stares into the cup, and then shakes his head.] I'm not going to sell it again. I like what we have, even if Ciel is different now. I like our little family, our house.
[Even if he's still not sure how to fully cope with all this.]
[He just offers a shrug. What he was doing in France is irrelevant now. It's done and that's the only thing that matters.]
I would have tried, yes, but I wasn't willing to risk losing everything again. Funny how your twin became the spare, isn't it? [Astre worried so much about being thought of as less than nothing for the same when Ciel had been the backup plan. Lucky for the three of them, it worked.]
I should hope not. I went to a lot of trouble trying to get you out of it and I'd be right cross with you if you threw that all in my face. [He's grinning now, but quite serious even if he knows it's not a threat.]
[That's true. It's done and over now, though he is a little curious. Maybe, someday, he'll ask. For now though, he lets it pass.
The mention of spares though, whether him or his brother, brings him down a bit. And he's back to staring into his cup. It had always hurt, still did, and he didn't really think of his brother that way even now.] He thinks of me like one still.
[But then, Undertaker gets the teens lips to quirk up a little at the corners. Even though he knows he's serious, he can't help but be just a little amused. And a little touched.] Don't worry. I'm happy like this.
[The way nobles treat others, sometimes he wonders why he let himself get mixed up with them at all. He doesn't regret his time with Claudia, but she wasn't any different. His own indifference to it was something he missed now and then from his days with the reapers.]
He also still has his nose in the air to anything and everything he considers beneath him. There's a lot he'll have to learn if he's to survive here. People in this world don't answer to rank and file like they used to, but he'll see that sooner or later. [A sip of that tea.] He'll have to. You did yourself. Give him time to figure it out.
[Rather than answer, he'll simply point at the boy and let it linger a few moments. He means it.]
[Now that he's spent time outside of England and away from nobility, Astre can see that more clearly. And it bothers him more now than it ever had.]
It was easier to adjust in Riverview, I think. [Maybe.] You're right though, he will adjust. It just... [Hurt. Hearing that from his twin.] It'll get easier.
[He can't help how his smile grows a bit more.] My soul is mine. Besides, I have no other obvious places to put a contract seal. [It's a joke, he promises.]
[Things aren't quite the same when you're born into privilege, he has learned, having seen one life closely and lived another.]
Might be he has a smaller learning curve here. The population is smaller, but no less likely to tell him right where he can put his demands if he starts making them. [That thought gets a giggle out of him.] Would that be the first time he's ever had to deal with someone other than his parents telling him no?
[There's a groan from him and he lets his head tilt back just enough. Really?] You lack a certain creativity, but I'm not inclined to elaborate.
[At least they're all on equal grounds here. As things should be. Astre wouldn't want to go back to how things were anyway, knowing how happy they've been.]
I think it would be. Least he has us if he needs help with anything. [Not everything though.]
I promise you, I won't be selling my soul again. You worked hard to help me, taught me how to be happy again and helped me grow. It's a gift I can't thank you enough for. [Look at Astre, getting all sappy.]
[As it should be, he's sure. Things are heading in that direction anyway.]
It's a better cushion than I could offer you. He has both of us. [No doubt the damn demon won't be any help there, and he'll insist the demon doesn't.]
[But he does appreciate that sappiness. He's been used to it, in a way.] It isn't a gift, it was redemption. And you needed it. But I thought you knew as much. Still, it's good to hear you got something out of it, something worthwhile.
[They're smart and crafty. And Astre is trying to do what he can to help with their farm. There's not a lot he's good for yet but he's trying.]
You were all I needed though. And I made a few friends that helped ease your burden of dealing with a spoiled noble. [He knows he's been spoiled, he'll fess up to that.]
Could be both. You could easily have given up on me, after all. And I did. I have our little family now and we have a cozy house. Even if we may have to add on to it.
[He could beg to differ but why bother? The boy can make a good cup of tea and that's all he really cares for at the moment.]
Spreading the pain, as it were. [But he giggles, and it's a little more like his old self.] Truly though, if I'd given up on you well and completely, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself. You know my feelings on that matter, I think. Also, I think we could use better Halloween decorations, but we'll work on that.
[He'll listen to Undertaker more readily now, at least. And he's made efforts to learn how they both like tea so he can make it when Undertaker is tired or cold.]
More people who would agree with you about my nonsense. [He likes that. It's nice, hearing that laugh.] I'm glad you didn't.
[He glances around and there's a wistful sigh.] We really could. It just doesn't feel entirely like home yet without a few, does it? At least, the ones we would keep up after Halloween.
[Trouble isn't a route he'd take the boy down. Not unless they somehow ended up with half the kitchen covered in flour again.]
It was either you or the decorations and I can't see myself living without both, so I had to compromise somehow. Seems like it would be more fun to keep you both around. [He looks to one of the chairs in the corner and points.] There for the skeleton.
[Now, how is that trouble? That just sounds like fun.]
I'm glad I rate as being just as important. [He teases, laughing softly before he eyes that chair.] That looks perfect. He'll be cozy there. Should we buy him some pants or do you think they'd go to waste?
[Only if they want to spend an hour cleaning the one counter top again.]
You always were, even if I never said it. [He reaches out a hand, palm up and open in invitation.] Why bother? He'll take them right back off again. Indecent exposure was always one of his favorite pastimes.
Astre doesn't hesitate to put his hand in Undertaker's, smiling up at the reaper.]
We'll have to be careful then. He may bring some trouble down on us like that. We're very respectable, after all. [He can't quite finish that without another soft laugh. Respectable indeed.]
[He has to. There's no other reason for them to ever bake. At all. Just cleaning.]
Indeed. Living with skeletons, here and not. Baking half of the kitchen for a plate of biscuits or a cake. The smells of tea everywhere. Feels like home. [It really does, in a way.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2018-10-13 06:19 am (UTC)He was quite dead when I found him. Torn and broken from one end to the other. But I couldn't let him go, and when I couldn't find your body, I feared the worst. I took what I had and I patched him up and I began my experiments in an effort to learn how to return what soul he had.
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Date: 2018-10-13 06:36 am (UTC)So... [Couldn't find his body. But they'd burned that church to the ground.
Suddenly he feels sick.]
You've had him all along? The whole time, you knew I was lying?
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Date: 2018-10-13 04:12 pm (UTC)I had him with me all along. Truth be told, I didn't know which one of you I had until he could tell me himself. You'd been so hardened by your tragedy and your place in the world and your demon.
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Date: 2018-10-14 06:37 am (UTC)[He leans back against the wall.] I feel a little sick. Where were you keeping him? How could I have not noticed?
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Date: 2018-10-15 06:16 am (UTC)It's one thing to see the records of someone you mean to push off to the next plane of existence. It's another entirely to watch every intimate detail of someone you feel you should be closer to than you are. I could have seen everything while he was still not yet whole, but your brother was one I held regard for. I would no less have been able to view his records without his consent than I can you or your father's with any sort of conscious, though I regret I couldn't have avoided some of it to help him return.
[He stirs the tea into the water as it slowly begins to heat, letting the flavor steep.] He was there, in plain sight, if you knew where to look. It helped him to come back, hearing your voice, seeing you close to him. He loves you dearly, you know. You were the only thing on his thoughts before he died. All he wanted in that moment was to know that you would be safe with a desperation and a regret beyond words. You know what that's like, don't you?
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Date: 2018-10-15 06:33 am (UTC)In plain... [He has to think and when it hits him, he feels a bit stupid really. And pales a little, imagining in brother-] I-in a coffin?
[His ears heat a little at the question. He's not embarrassed but to hear that.] I do know... I would have done anything to help him too.
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Date: 2018-10-15 06:43 am (UTC)I had nothing else to hide him in and maintain his body in plain sight, such as it was, in something so comfortable. It was either that or dig a place under the flooring, and it simply wasn't convenient enough for either of us.
[He finishes the tea and pours out two cups, per his usual.] You did try. It was all that you could do.
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Date: 2018-10-15 07:02 am (UTC)Maintain... [It's all so much. Ciel had been there the whole time, so close. Even if Undertaker hadn't realized which was which, he'd let Astre hide his twins existence after he'd returned. He's not sure how to feel.
Thankful, in part. He hadn't ratted him out to the other nobles or the servants or his aunt.
Slowly, he sits down and stares into the tea before fixing it how he likes.] Then, in Germany, you were talking about Ciel when you visited Diedrich.
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Date: 2018-10-15 04:24 pm (UTC)So he told you about that, did he? I guess I can't be surprised. I did ruffle his feathers a little. [Only a little. But really, the man didn't even look the same anymore. He sits with the boy and makes his own tea, waiting until he has it just right, the cup between his hands, before he speaks again.]
With everything we've been through, you deserve the truth. It was a selfish thing. Maybe you won't see it the same way, but I needed the body I had to come back. You and your brother are all I have in this world anymore, or any other, unless your father is alive still in one of them. We were fortunate enough to land in a place that could help me free you from the demon's hold, but in England you must understand I'm still struggling with how to do such a thing. We don't have the same technology there that we have here. Removing your eye and the curse thereafter won't be possible there the way it was in Riverview.
[Another sip.] There, I still fear for your soul, but I doubt I'll be able to convince you to want to keep it.
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Date: 2018-10-16 03:16 am (UTC)His stomach though, there's not a lot he or it can handle at the moment. The tea is probably the only thing besides their conversation that he's going to be able to deal with.]
Said you headed towards France.
[He probably could have had Sebastian handle Wolfram and Sieglinde from that point, or Tanaka and the other servants, and gone after him but he hadn't bothered. He hadn't even thought about it then.]
It... [Astre can't help but agree, really, but he can't condemn him for it either. Having his twin back, in those earlier days, he would have given anything. It's a little more awkward now that he's older, but he is still glad to have him.] You would have found a way. You're nothing if not determined.
[Finally he sips at his own tea, stares into the cup, and then shakes his head.] I'm not going to sell it again. I like what we have, even if Ciel is different now. I like our little family, our house.
[Even if he's still not sure how to fully cope with all this.]
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Date: 2018-10-16 05:21 am (UTC)I would have tried, yes, but I wasn't willing to risk losing everything again. Funny how your twin became the spare, isn't it? [Astre worried so much about being thought of as less than nothing for the same when Ciel had been the backup plan. Lucky for the three of them, it worked.]
I should hope not. I went to a lot of trouble trying to get you out of it and I'd be right cross with you if you threw that all in my face. [He's grinning now, but quite serious even if he knows it's not a threat.]
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Date: 2018-10-16 05:31 am (UTC)The mention of spares though, whether him or his brother, brings him down a bit. And he's back to staring into his cup. It had always hurt, still did, and he didn't really think of his brother that way even now.] He thinks of me like one still.
[But then, Undertaker gets the teens lips to quirk up a little at the corners. Even though he knows he's serious, he can't help but be just a little amused. And a little touched.] Don't worry. I'm happy like this.
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Date: 2018-10-16 05:40 am (UTC)He also still has his nose in the air to anything and everything he considers beneath him. There's a lot he'll have to learn if he's to survive here. People in this world don't answer to rank and file like they used to, but he'll see that sooner or later. [A sip of that tea.] He'll have to. You did yourself. Give him time to figure it out.
[Rather than answer, he'll simply point at the boy and let it linger a few moments. He means it.]
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Date: 2018-10-16 05:49 am (UTC)It was easier to adjust in Riverview, I think. [Maybe.] You're right though, he will adjust. It just... [Hurt. Hearing that from his twin.] It'll get easier.
[He can't help how his smile grows a bit more.] My soul is mine. Besides, I have no other obvious places to put a contract seal. [It's a joke, he promises.]
no subject
Date: 2018-10-16 06:04 am (UTC)Might be he has a smaller learning curve here. The population is smaller, but no less likely to tell him right where he can put his demands if he starts making them. [That thought gets a giggle out of him.] Would that be the first time he's ever had to deal with someone other than his parents telling him no?
[There's a groan from him and he lets his head tilt back just enough. Really?] You lack a certain creativity, but I'm not inclined to elaborate.
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Date: 2018-10-16 06:17 am (UTC)I think it would be. Least he has us if he needs help with anything. [Not everything though.]
I promise you, I won't be selling my soul again. You worked hard to help me, taught me how to be happy again and helped me grow. It's a gift I can't thank you enough for. [Look at Astre, getting all sappy.]
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Date: 2018-10-16 06:32 am (UTC)It's a better cushion than I could offer you. He has both of us. [No doubt the damn demon won't be any help there, and he'll insist the demon doesn't.]
[But he does appreciate that sappiness. He's been used to it, in a way.] It isn't a gift, it was redemption. And you needed it. But I thought you knew as much. Still, it's good to hear you got something out of it, something worthwhile.
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Date: 2018-10-16 06:48 am (UTC)You were all I needed though. And I made a few friends that helped ease your burden of dealing with a spoiled noble. [He knows he's been spoiled, he'll fess up to that.]
Could be both. You could easily have given up on me, after all. And I did. I have our little family now and we have a cozy house. Even if we may have to add on to it.
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Date: 2018-10-17 07:00 am (UTC)Spreading the pain, as it were. [But he giggles, and it's a little more like his old self.] Truly though, if I'd given up on you well and completely, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself. You know my feelings on that matter, I think. Also, I think we could use better Halloween decorations, but we'll work on that.
no subject
Date: 2018-10-17 07:09 am (UTC)More people who would agree with you about my nonsense. [He likes that. It's nice, hearing that laugh.] I'm glad you didn't.
[He glances around and there's a wistful sigh.] We really could. It just doesn't feel entirely like home yet without a few, does it? At least, the ones we would keep up after Halloween.
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Date: 2018-10-17 07:16 am (UTC)It was either you or the decorations and I can't see myself living without both, so I had to compromise somehow. Seems like it would be more fun to keep you both around. [He looks to one of the chairs in the corner and points.] There for the skeleton.
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Date: 2018-10-17 07:22 am (UTC)I'm glad I rate as being just as important. [He teases, laughing softly before he eyes that chair.] That looks perfect. He'll be cozy there. Should we buy him some pants or do you think they'd go to waste?
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Date: 2018-10-17 07:49 am (UTC)You always were, even if I never said it. [He reaches out a hand, palm up and open in invitation.] Why bother? He'll take them right back off again. Indecent exposure was always one of his favorite pastimes.
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Date: 2018-10-17 07:53 am (UTC)Astre doesn't hesitate to put his hand in Undertaker's, smiling up at the reaper.]
We'll have to be careful then. He may bring some trouble down on us like that. We're very respectable, after all. [He can't quite finish that without another soft laugh. Respectable indeed.]
no subject
Date: 2018-10-17 05:34 pm (UTC)Indeed. Living with skeletons, here and not. Baking half of the kitchen for a plate of biscuits or a cake. The smells of tea everywhere. Feels like home. [It really does, in a way.]
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