Inbawks

[somakemelaugh]

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[sweetlies]

[And Ciel just watches him, suddenly feeling guilty. It's still a foreign feeling but at least he can recognize it.]

I'm sorry. I ruined all of that for you.

[somakemelaugh]

[He tilts his head.]

Oh? Why do you think that? The funeral business was only a front anyway. I would have had to give it up in time.

[sweetlies]

You enjoyed it though. And if I hadn't reported the incident to the Queen, you could have gone back.

[Never mind that the other reapers knew about him as well by then, but Ciel has a guilt-complex.]

[somakemelaugh]

[He sees that and he's well aware. So to help curb the guilt, he'll reach out and poke the boy's nose with a nail.]

Don't take that all on your shoulders. Even if you hadn't gone out to investigate what I'd been doing with the dolls, the reapers already knew about them. I wouldn't have been able to go back to the mortuary business the same way I had either way it went. That path was set for me the moment I started toying with cinematic records.

[sweetlies]

[That's enough to, at least, shock the guilty look off his face. And he'll just blink up at him.]

You... [A part of him tries to justify his guilt but he comes up empty-handed.] Why would you do that if it was going to risk the life you were comfortable with?

[somakemelaugh]

[It's surprising to him that Ciel would want to take on so much of the blame for somethng that had been out of his control outside of his own family and what happened after the fire. With his brother? He could understand that. But he can't deny that their own bonds, what flimsy things they had before the city, are far stronger now than they had been.]

Because no one has tried it? No, I suppose everything was out of selfishness on my part. My chain was growing far too long, and now that you know what you are to me, you might understand why I couldn't be content to just dig another grave.

[sweetlies]

[So flimsy. Even a little strange, how they dealt with one another. If it hadn't been for this place, there wasn't much of a chance of them fixing everything.]

Ah- I suppose I can understand that. [That had to gradually grow more depressing.] I'm sorry you had to dig any for us at all.

[somakemelaugh]

[Oh, but it did. Long life is a terrible thing when everyone around you will go away eventually.]

As am I, milord. But here now, it's not that bad anymore. I've got you to poke fun at and help me taste test what I bake in the kitchen.

[sweetlies]

[He wishes he could do something about that.]

Mm, and I certainly don't mind tasting everything. I'm not sure I've had one bad thing yet.

[somakemelaugh]

[He doesn't. He wouldn't wish this mess of forced employment on anyone.]

You always did have the highest expectations in your taste, milord. We don't have the finest of ingredients here, but how could I disappoint you?

[sweetlies]

[Maybe not but he'd still want to fix it. It seems like a broken system.]

Maybe a bit but only because I grew up like that. You've yet to disappoint me though. Your cooking is worlds better than the instant meals I was surviving off of before you moved in with me.

starhue - video (dated to r!Ciel's arrival)

[sweetlies]

Undertaker..?

[If he sounds a little uncertain... well, he is. By now, he and his twin have been, at least a little reacquainted.]

Can we talk?

[somakemelaugh]

[He notices that uncertainty and he isn't sure how he feels about it. That they're having this conversation anything but face to face is a concern of its own. But he knows Astre and Ciel spoke, and he has an idea of what this is about.]

We are talking. Is everything alright with you and your twin?

[sweetlies]

[Really, he just didn't want to run off to find Undertaker and leave Ciel on his own so soon. Or leave him to hunt them down while they're talking.]

Yes. At least, mostly.

[He's still a little uncomfortable with him. Especially considering the last time he'd seen him. And his comment regarding his... position.]

I could find you.

[somakemelaugh]

[How could he blame the boy for that. It isn't as though Astre needs time away from his twin so soon again. Or does he?]

I'm only in the kitchen, milord. [Or what currently stands as one.] What can I do for you?

[sweetlies]

[He'll actually find Astre joining him in the kitchen shortly after. And looking just as uncertain as he had on the jPad. He glances around the room, being sure his twin isn't there and then-]

How is Ciel alive?

[somakemelaugh]

[He sees that looking around and he knows what it means. He isn't going to fight this, as unpleasant a conversation as they're about to have. No sense in avoiding it. He stops what he was doing and turns to face the boy, eyes hidden behind his bangs as normal.]

The same way you are, in a way. Only the demon didn't come to save him. I did.

[sweetlies]

I saw...

[For a moment, he just stares at the floor, trying to think of just what he wants to say. It hard to find the words though.]

I saw what happened to him though. And I didn't die when Sebastian saved me.

[somakemelaugh]

[He nods, one hand holding the other in front of him at his waist, leaning back against the counter.]

He was quite dead when I found him. Torn and broken from one end to the other. But I couldn't let him go, and when I couldn't find your body, I feared the worst. I took what I had and I patched him up and I began my experiments in an effort to learn how to return what soul he had.

[sweetlies]

[His breath turns a little shaky, one hand hovering over his stomach where he remembers cutting his twin open for the ring, the damage he had done before allowing Sebastian to take over for him.]

So... [Couldn't find his body. But they'd burned that church to the ground.

Suddenly he feels sick.]

You've had him all along? The whole time, you knew I was lying?

[somakemelaugh]

[He shakes his head, just a little, enough to let the hair part for one eye.]

I had him with me all along. Truth be told, I didn't know which one of you I had until he could tell me himself. You'd been so hardened by your tragedy and your place in the world and your demon.

[sweetlies]

You- but you could have seen his record. You'd have known then. So why..?

[He leans back against the wall.] I feel a little sick. Where were you keeping him? How could I have not noticed?

[somakemelaugh]

[He hums quietly, maybe to himself, maybe to the boy as well. Then he turns to start up a pot of tea, as he always has, for the both of them.]

It's one thing to see the records of someone you mean to push off to the next plane of existence. It's another entirely to watch every intimate detail of someone you feel you should be closer to than you are. I could have seen everything while he was still not yet whole, but your brother was one I held regard for. I would no less have been able to view his records without his consent than I can you or your father's with any sort of conscious, though I regret I couldn't have avoided some of it to help him return.

[He stirs the tea into the water as it slowly begins to heat, letting the flavor steep.] He was there, in plain sight, if you knew where to look. It helped him to come back, hearing your voice, seeing you close to him. He loves you dearly, you know. You were the only thing on his thoughts before he died. All he wanted in that moment was to know that you would be safe with a desperation and a regret beyond words. You know what that's like, don't you?

[sweetlies]

[He supposes he can understand that. Undertaker does care about them a great deal, invading the memories of one of the twins... well, part of him is glad the reaper didn't have to see all of that. He might be even more protective of them then.]

In plain... [He has to think and when it hits him, he feels a bit stupid really. And pales a little, imagining in brother-] I-in a coffin?

[His ears heat a little at the question. He's not embarrassed but to hear that.] I do know... I would have done anything to help him too.

[somakemelaugh]

[He tries to, in any case. But one of them relies on him for near everything and one of them relies on him for next to nothing. It's a difficult life!]

I had nothing else to hide him in and maintain his body in plain sight, such as it was, in something so comfortable. It was either that or dig a place under the flooring, and it simply wasn't convenient enough for either of us.

[He finishes the tea and pours out two cups, per his usual.] You did try. It was all that you could do.